By Michael Lee Stallard and Katharine P. Stallard
Connection-minded leaders, you are important and very much needed! Your team needs you—and not just to talk about connection but to keep modeling what it looks like so your colleagues are inspired to follow your example.
While we’re at it, the world needs you and your example too! Autocratic leadership is on the rise around the globe, as reported in the media and described in books such as The New Despotism, Autocracy Inc., and Blind Spot. This trend of valuing power over people threatens to devalue a leadership style like yours that is about respecting and valuing your colleagues, inviting and recognizing their contributions, and giving them a voice whenever possible.
Our encouragement to you as this year comes to a close is to stand strong. Organizations (and nations) do not need more cultures of control or cultures of indifference. Be a beacon of hope as you lead in a manner that demonstrates that you genuinely care about people as much as you care about results.
Be True to Your Values as a Connector
So often we learn by watching. When it comes to how to be a leader, what kind of role models have you had? How have these individuals made you feel and how did that impact your performance? Did you feel energized, included, and lifted up? Or did you feel burned out, overlooked, or held back? When you rose to a position of leadership, whether officially or through your influence among your peers, how did those experiences shape how you treat those around you?
In conversations we had this year with two exceptional leaders who we consider to be superconnectors, we discovered something they had in common: At pivotal moments in their careers, both chose to not follow a leadership style that had been modeled for them or they felt was expected of them but to lead in ways that prioritized serving people and aligned with their core character strengths of humility, love, and service.
Alan Mulally, former CEO of Boeing Commercial Airplanes and Ford Motor Company, is a shining example. In 2014, the year he retired, Fortune named him one of the top three leaders in the world, alongside Pope Francis and then-German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Alan shared a formative experience from early in his career that reinforced his commitment to leading in a manner that is authentic to him. Here’s how Alan described it:
"When I joined Boeing, [the leadership style] was command-and-control. ... I was watching the leaders, and I wanted to serve. I thought I had to learn how they acted and emulate them. I assumed that was not just how they behaved at work but who they were as people. So, I started acting that way.
The neat thing is I had already made friends with many people at Boeing and across the stakeholders. They watched me and approached me several times, saying, ‘Alan, we know why you’re acting this way—because that’s the example you’ve had from other leaders—but you have something unique. You genuinely embody humility, love, and service. We want you to know that that behavior and that mindset is going to lead to even more success for all of us.”
The experience and valuable feedback affirmed the way in which he actually wanted to lead and it laid the foundation for his “Working Together” Leadership and Management System, which became a hallmark of his success.
Victor Boschini, Chancellor of Texas Christian University (TCU) and one of the most accomplished leaders in higher education, had a similar experience about learning to be true to himself. When we asked what advice he would offer to leaders about leading through human connection, Victor shared this insight:
"The number one thing is to just be yourself because that's what people want. When I got my first job as president of a school, I thought a leader had to bang on the desk and push forward like a general. I tried that for about six months as President of Illinois State University, and I was miserable. It didn't work for me. Be yourself and be genuine. People want to know the real you."
Keep Your Priority Straight When it Comes to Power
One way to compare the approach of autocratic leaders and connected leaders is to look at how they view and use power. The autocratic leader uses power for their own purposes; the connected leader uses the power entrusted to them in a way that benefits others.
You could crystalize the approaches this way:
- Power Over People – a style centered on acquiring and wielding authority over others and demanding the results the leader wants
- People Over Power – a style focused on serving people, recognizing that an engaged and connected group will deliver results
Alan and Victor initially tried the first approach and found it incompatible with their values. They chose instead to lead with humility, love, and service, balancing care for people with a commitment to achieving excellence in tasks and outcomes.
Protect the People Side of Business
In our book Connection Culture, now in its second edition, we make the case that being a results-driven and relationship-minded leader contributes significantly to the success of a group. We advocate that leaders must intentionally cultivate both task excellence and relationship excellence—a combination essential for achieving sustainable superior performance. This concept is summarized in the formula: Task Excellence + Relationship Excellence = Sustainable Superior Performance. In a culture of connection, you will see higher levels of employee engagement, strategic alignment, productivity, innovation, and overall performance. The book includes many profiles of leaders, including Alan and Victor, and best practices you can use or adapt to your setting.
For many people, there is a natural pull toward concentrating on the tasks side of the equation. Because of that, you need to actively promote and safeguard the relational side of work. Looming deadlines, the pressure to reach goals, unforeseen circumstances that pose a new threat to progress… all sorts of things may come up that can negatively affect the mood and the interpersonal dynamics of the group. Especially in times of change or crisis, having an environment already filled with positive connections and healthy working relationships will be a great asset.
Nurture connection. Make it part of your routine. As you look toward the new year, take some time to identify ways you can infuse even more connection on your team.
About the Authors
Katharine P. Stallard is a partner of Connection Culture Group and a contributing author to Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work.
Michael Lee Stallard, MBA, JD, is a thought leader, speaker and leading expert on how human connection in workplace cultures affects the health and performance of individuals and organizations. In addition to Fired Up or Burned Out, he is the primary author of Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work.
